I am, inarguably, a sentimental person. I tear-up easily (over mostly happy things), I remember most gifts that were given to me, and often think of the giver when I look at them, and I am sensitive towards others - where they have been, where they might be - and how it feels. I can't decide if it is just me getting mushier as the years go by, or if Luke is getting to a point where his communication, however innocent and rudimentary, will start becoming decidedly more profound.
"Out of the mouths of babes" they say, and man this was a doozy.
My Grandpa was something else. There isn't time in this post to even do him justice. To try and list out a few, of the many, things that made him great feels cheap and falls short. (I know because I typed them out, read them, and then deleted them). He was simply wonderful in every sense of the word. And the day that he passed away, I was in Denver with two of my very best friends, and I cried (hard). I cried for my mom, over the memory of him and I cried at the thought of how my little ones would never know him.
My cousin Linda got married over the last weekend (it was an amazing wedding - up there on the "all-around best list") and we all made the trip up there. Getting there was challenging (and that is putting it delicately) but luckily, I had my mom and Bobbi to help me get there. Being there with all of the family and the few allusions to his memory - made it a little bit raw again, but the happy times far far outweighed the sad. We made it back to Texas in one piece and, as it turns out, my poor, sweet Luke is as petrified of flying as his mother is (a hash-mark on the nature board in the nature vs. nurture argument). He checks with me, daily, to see if we are going on an airplane that day. Over toast and grapes today he said "no airplanes today." He used "sentence" inflection instead of "question" inflection in his voice - so I would know he wasn't asking, but asserting. He told me that he rode the airplane "way up in the clouds" but "not today, no airplanes today" Then, he ran through the list of people that he saw in New York. Whenever he would say Great Grandma, I would hurry and say someone else after so that something would distract him from the instinct to say Great Grandpa next. Not because I don't want to hear it, but because I never know what to say in response to it. He is too young to be told the truth and I don't support just lying about it. Well, today, I was off my game and wasn't paying attention. Below is the conversation that took place. It was both heartwarming and heartbreaking all at the same time.
Luke: we saw Linda
Mommy: yep we saw Linda
Luke: we saw Uncle Bobby and Jake
Mommy: yep
Luke: we saw Great Grandma
Mommy: yep we saw Great Grandma
Luke: and we saw Great Grandpa
Mommy: {deep breath} no, we didn't see Great Grandpa
Luke: nope we didn't see Great Grandpa, he was all gone.
Mommy: yep he was all gone
Luke: we will see him tomorrow
Mommy: no, buddy, not tomorrow, but someday you will see him
Luke: some day Luke will see great grandpa {short pause} way up in the clouds.
So, {after a brief moment of disbelief at the coincidental arrangement of his phrases, and a quick look around for someone to jump out and say they told him to say that} I swallowed the knot in my throat, smiled to myself (and God for the sense of humor that I know He has) and said yep, someday Luke will see Great Grandpa way up in the clouds.
"Out of the mouths of babes" they say, and man this was a doozy.
My Grandpa was something else. There isn't time in this post to even do him justice. To try and list out a few, of the many, things that made him great feels cheap and falls short. (I know because I typed them out, read them, and then deleted them). He was simply wonderful in every sense of the word. And the day that he passed away, I was in Denver with two of my very best friends, and I cried (hard). I cried for my mom, over the memory of him and I cried at the thought of how my little ones would never know him.
My cousin Linda got married over the last weekend (it was an amazing wedding - up there on the "all-around best list") and we all made the trip up there. Getting there was challenging (and that is putting it delicately) but luckily, I had my mom and Bobbi to help me get there. Being there with all of the family and the few allusions to his memory - made it a little bit raw again, but the happy times far far outweighed the sad. We made it back to Texas in one piece and, as it turns out, my poor, sweet Luke is as petrified of flying as his mother is (a hash-mark on the nature board in the nature vs. nurture argument). He checks with me, daily, to see if we are going on an airplane that day. Over toast and grapes today he said "no airplanes today." He used "sentence" inflection instead of "question" inflection in his voice - so I would know he wasn't asking, but asserting. He told me that he rode the airplane "way up in the clouds" but "not today, no airplanes today" Then, he ran through the list of people that he saw in New York. Whenever he would say Great Grandma, I would hurry and say someone else after so that something would distract him from the instinct to say Great Grandpa next. Not because I don't want to hear it, but because I never know what to say in response to it. He is too young to be told the truth and I don't support just lying about it. Well, today, I was off my game and wasn't paying attention. Below is the conversation that took place. It was both heartwarming and heartbreaking all at the same time.
Luke: we saw Linda
Mommy: yep we saw Linda
Luke: we saw Uncle Bobby and Jake
Mommy: yep
Luke: we saw Great Grandma
Mommy: yep we saw Great Grandma
Luke: and we saw Great Grandpa
Mommy: {deep breath} no, we didn't see Great Grandpa
Luke: nope we didn't see Great Grandpa, he was all gone.
Mommy: yep he was all gone
Luke: we will see him tomorrow
Mommy: no, buddy, not tomorrow, but someday you will see him
Luke: some day Luke will see great grandpa {short pause}
So, {after a brief moment of disbelief at the coincidental arrangement of his phrases, and a quick look around for someone to jump out and say they told him to say that} I swallowed the knot in my throat, smiled to myself (and God for the sense of humor that I know He has) and said yep, someday Luke will see Great Grandpa way up in the clouds.
